Comparison and Beauty

Seeing beauty through a biblical lens.

“The cross may not be attractive, but for a follower it is beautiful.”

Kyle Idleman, Follower: Becoming More Than Just a Fan of Jesus

Social media has made it so easy for us to compare ourselves to others, not just with lifestyles but also with beauty standards and trends.

The people we follow influence us in ways we may not even know. Influencers subtly push trends and ideologies that will ultimately harm us and lead us away from God, but we just put these things aside as “something everyone is doing”.

Trends in fashion have become very revealing. Even the lifestyle we live—who we hang out with, have relationships with, the music we listen to, and even how we treat our bodies—can be reflective of modern trends and influences.

So, if you post a picture of yourself wearing a very revealing or extremely tight outfit, society deems it as “empowering”. They continue to push the idea that showing yourself off and being seductive are virtues. In reality, it’s actually demeaning: putting your worth in your outward appearance and how appealing you are to others.

It’s easy to feel validation from getting likes and comments that tell you you’re sexy and look beautiful, but do we want our worth to come from what others think of us and the trends we are following to a T?

Society’s beauty standards are unattainable and always changing. Magazine covers are Photoshopped to perfection and social media posts only show the best of one’s life, filtered and posed as a highlight reel. No one truly reaches that level of perfection.

In some areas of social media, we see other extremes: it has become wrong to not affirm people’s choices and ugly things/trends are called beautiful.

For the topic of beauty specifically, many modern fashion brands and beauty influencers have convinced people that it’s okay to not take care of your body.

As Christians, we are called to steward what we have well, and that includes stewarding our bodies. We have to put effort into taking care ourselves, even when we change (sometimes on a daily basis).

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV

We will never reach the society’s perfect standard of beauty while we’re on this earth. But can I remind you of something?

We are all made in God’s image. Each of us created intentionally unique.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 ESV

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139:13-15 ESV

This is not something we should take lightly. God has created us each individually and wonderfully for His purpose. He knows and loves us more than we could ever fully comprehend.

The ESV version of Psalm 139:14 has a note that says “Or wonderfully set apart“. As Christians, we are called to be set apart. Believing in and following Jesus will make us look different than the world.

We might not always feel beautiful or measure up to beauty standards, but our worth is not in what we look like.

“A voice said, ‘Shout!’ I asked, ‘What should I shout?’ ‘Shout that people are like the grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in a field. The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord . And so it is with people. The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.’” Isaiah 40:6-8 NLT

Of course, our appearance a big part of who we are, but it will change and we will age.

I thought this thread on X by Ally Ragsdale (@allyragsdale) spoke to these things very well:

“There’s always going to be someone prettier than you, more talented than you, appear holier than you, but you need not find your identity in those things. Find your identity in Christ and commit all things in your life to bringing Him glory.

God didn’t create you to compete with other image bearers. He made you to rest in His love and grace for you, and from there go bearing His image well.”

All these trends and standards have separated the ideas of inward and outward beauty.

Someone can be considered the most beautiful person in the world and not have good character. Furthermore, plenty of celebrities and influencers look pretty, but they don’t know Christ, so they don’t know true beauty in Him.

We are so focused on vanity and how we appear to others, we forget how inward and outward beauty go together.

Inward beauty will be reflected outward.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

We put so much effort into looking good and acting a certain way for others that we lose sight of what matters. Yes, it’s important to take care of ourselves and dress in a way that honors the Lord. How can we honor the Lord, though, if our hearts are not turned toward Him?

That’s one big reason why we need to be in the Word. Society pushes so much on us that is anti-Christ, but we won’t recognize it if we don’t know Jesus and aren’t in the Bible.

We will not grow to be more like Jesus by our own effort. There are, of course, steps we take in faith, but it’s God that does the growing in us. What a blessing, that we don’t have to rely on our own strength!

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5 ESV

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV

Modesty also ties into this. I wrote a blog about biblical modesty a while back, and I would encourage you to read it.

There are so many great Bible passages that talk about modesty, and you’ll find that a lot of of them speak to inward and outward beauty together.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25 NIV

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 NIV

Modesty is something most people, especially women, will ignore nowadays because our culture is so focused on sex appeal and “female empowerment”. Young women will follow trends blindly without any real thought behind their motivations, and they will often be seen as an outcast if they don’t.

The idea of purity culture also plays into this. Many people felt the purity culture movement (or even biblical purity) was just a set of rules that restricted them, which led them to “breaking free” from what held them back.

In reality, biblical purity and modesty are good. God isn’t giving us a rule book that restricts us, but He gives us commands because He loves us and He guides us as believers for our ultimate good. Sin keeps us bound and chained, but Jesus gives us true freedom from our sin.

The Bible urges us to be pure, and self-control is a fruit from the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:19-23, Colossians 3:5, 12-15, Psalm 119:9, Titus 2:4-5, 1 Peter 4:7, etc.). Living in a way that honors the Lord is counter-culture.

And again, our worth is not defined by how much skin we show or how attractive we are to others.

I think we need to go back to the heart of beauty, modesty, and purity.

• Why am I wearing certain outfits?
• What is my motivation behind posting this?
• Do I want the approval or praise of others?
• Am I honoring God in this?

And finally, what does the Bible say about this and what is my worth in Christ?

You shouldn’t have to wear skimpy clothes or what’s currently trending to feel beautiful. The same goes for posting certain things online.

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?” Matthew 6:28-30 NIV

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12 NIV

It’s also easy to fall into the comparison trap with our lifestyle.

We don’t just compare our looks to others online, but we’ll see others in a place or season where we want to be. It makes us wonder why we don’t have what someone else has, like money or a relationship. We want so badly to be somewhere other than where God has placed us, we become jealous of someone else’s life, blessings, and their highlight reel.

This goes back to biblical stewardship. God has us where we’re at for a reason. We get to be faithful with what He has given us in the here and now.

Our desires may come from Him (when they are part of His will—Psalm 37:4), and we have to choose to trust and chase after Him more than our desire.

That doesn’t mean life will be easy. We are promised hardships, but we can trust God where He has us. He will grow us where we’re planted and His timing is perfect.

A few things to reflect on:

• It’s okay to put down your phone if you’re feeling sad or jealous about others’ lifestyles or beauty.
• Be conscious of who/what influences you and why.
• Take and moment, with any action, and think about what is motivating you.
• Remember God’s Word and your worth in Christ.

I recently read a book that talked a lot about comparison and social media called Who Are You Following? by Sadie Robertson Huff. I recommend it specifically for those topics!

When I’m taking someone’s pictures, I want to capture them authentically. With the camera angles and poses/prompts I use, I want to show off their personality and make them feel beautiful as they are.

It is so cool getting to document such special seasons of life for all of my clients, and each one is beautiful and where God wants them to be. The best pictures aren’t always perfect moments, but they’re real and beautiful.

Professional pictures also reflect real life much better than iPhone pictures. The quality of professional equipment is very high, and on top of that, photographers know the best ways to flatter their subjects and celebrate them. It’s normal to not like the way you look in iPhone pictures because (most of the time) they will not show who you really are.

Each of us will have some aspect of (personal) beauty we focus on more than others, and that’s okay. We’re all in different parts of life and have our own personality and look. Even so, you are beautiful inside and out because of Jesus, and today we need to know and remember who God is and who He has created us to be.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Jesus, God in flesh, died for our sins so that we could be reconciled to Him. Repent and believe today! It was His love that kept Him on the cross for us, and nothing can compare.

When we are apart from Christ, we may be beautiful by the world’s standards, but not by God’s standard. When we repent of our sins and put our faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior, we become His children. So then we are beautiful, fully loved, and known in Christ. Inside and out.

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:17-19 NLT

I hope this blog was encouraging to you! I cannot express how thankful I am that you found this page and that you read through this blog. It’s been on my heart for a while now and I know God will work through this in mighty ways.